Gifts Not Under the Tree
Dating Justin was intimidating.
I mean, have you seen him?
He was incredibly good looking. Athletic. Ridiculously smart - hello Duke. Great sense of humor. Sober. Friends with everyone. Musically gifted.
As the king from The King and I would say…etcetera, etcetera…
And he didn’t stop being these things when we got married. Still intimidating sometimes, but only in the way that challenges me to be a better person than I was the day before.
We had a debrief after Christmas and he was feeling guilty about not getting me something big or really nice.
So I stopped him and hopefully adequately corrected the record.
We bought our kids a basketball goal, which sure, might be mostly for them, but it’s a gift to me as well because I know my kids are happy and healthy playing outdoors. That gives me peace of mind which is a gift all unto itself.
Plus, he gave me little things he knows I need because he pays attention, which means more to me than anything else.
I told him explicitly, though, that I don’t need presents on that one day because he gives me unbelievable gifts of love throughout the year and that’s more than enough.
For example…
While thinking through my parents’ recent health situation, we were considering moving my parents up to Nashville.
The question was where.
Without my prompting, he said, “Well, they can move into our room and we’ll move upstairs.”
I vetoed that immediately, but the fact he would consider that moved me. Deeply.
When things were looking even more dim, he walked me out to the garage and talked me through possible ways we could renovate the garage to make it a living space if we needed them really close by, not just in town.
Then he held me as I bawled my eyes out at the possibility of my parents leaving the home they love and that we had come to a point like this in my parents’ journey.
As I bawled over that, I bawled over the fact that I have a husband who loves me so much, he’s willing to reconfigure our home and take on a construction project just so I can have my parents close to me.
That’s no small undertaking.
I don’t know how other husbands would handle this type of situation, but mine stepped up and offered his support in a way that I can’t even describe how safe and loved I felt.
Around this same time, late November, I felt desperate to get down to just lay eyes on my parents.
After looking at the calendar, I realized there was only a small window in our schedule where I could get down there and back between hosting church cogroup, birthday parties, and wrestling tournaments.
I hate driving long distances, but I was planning on taking all four kids, spend the night with the kids in my same bed, and then come back two days later while leaving Justin in Nashville to wrap up his jobs.
Was Justin okay with that?
Of course. He knew I needed to see my parents and was on board.
But then, in Justin fashion, he looked at his calendar, put someone else in charge, and drove us down in the camper to spend several days with my family.
It was wonderful.
Probably the best visit we’ve ever had with my parents, who by the way, will not be moving into our bedroom, or garage, or Nashville, anytime soon.
Thankfully.
They are doing way better than we expected to find them and both Justin and I were beyond relieved to see them doing as well as they were.
Words can’t express the relief.
It doesn’t mean we are out of the woods, but we do have time.
We drove back differently than we drove down and I couldn’t thank him enough for showing me through his actions his love for me.
It’s not the physical gifts I desire, it’s knowing I matter to him. That he would rope the moon for me if he could.
These acts of love mean the most to me and you can’t put that under the tree.
