Gratitude

Walking down the stairs a few days after Christmas, I mentioned to God that a new year was about to start (as if He wasn’t aware) and wondered what He was going to have me focus on this year.

What will this year carry? Where do you want my heart?

He has laid something on my heart the past couple of years and as a childlike curiosity bubbled up in me, I wondered if He’d give me something for this year.

Since there were a few days before January 1st, I figured I’d pray about it and somewhere along the way He’d let me know.

I wasn’t even to the bottom of the stairs when He stopped me and I heard “Gratitude.”

Gratitude?

That seems so obvious. Aren’t we suppose to have an attitude of gratitude all the time?

I thought of my mom who was given Simple Abundance years ago and has written a gratitude list every morning since.

It seemed so mundane.

“Really? Gratitude? Okay.”

Who am I to say what God wants me to focus on this year. He knows way better than me.

And though I have lots to be grateful for and thank God often for the good things in our lives, it is an area I could work on. Sometimes I take things for granted or expect good things as if I’m entitled to them. Maybe a little Pollyanna-ish if I’m really truthful.

Little did I know that on January 2nd we’d receive devastating news.

“It’s cancer.”

Not for me or Justin, but for his mom.

The family’s rock.

Our beloved Mimi.

The first tests were done on the 27th when we thought it was pneumonia that wasn’t going away.

Laying in bed one night looking over the results from the doctor, Justin said it didn’t look good. According to ChatGPT, we were looking at cancer.

Yes, I know, I said it too, “You never look at Google or ChatGPT!!! It always leads to cancer. Put it away.”

But he looked.

In that instant, the song Wait on You by Maverick City came to mind:

I'm gonna wait on You
I've tasted Your goodness
I'll trust in Your promise
I'm gonna wait on You

I don’t sing, but I sang this…out loud.

Forgetting that the first verse says this:

I don't believe in fairytales, I guess I've outgrown them
But that doesn't mean that I don't believe
That there's something bigger than me
Cause I've seen it in a hospital room
When the doctors said, "Sorry, there's nothing more we can do"
Well, it wasn't through

The doctors called on the 2nd to confirm our fears.

It doesn’t seem like there’s much we can do, but yet we wait.

We trust in His goodness.

We thank God for the time we’ve had with her and the time we will have with her. For the blessing she has been in our lives and in our childrens’ lives. For the life she’s lived. For the example she’s been and the children she has raised.

And we wait.

And while there is tension in the waiting, He is still good and we are still grateful. A less than favorable outcome does not negate that.

Period.

God is good.

And on the 4th, we worshipped while we waited.

We forgot that the first Sunday of the year at our church is always a worship only service.

In that service, a spirit of doubt and catastrophizing was lifted and we sat in the hope of healing. Of restoration. Of wholeness.

While we wait for a definitive diagnosis and prognosis, we remind ourselves of the many things we have to be grateful for.

I don’t know what else 2026 holds, but if I can stay in the spirit of gratitude for all that God has done and all that He has given, then I have to believe our heads will stay above water.

My all time favorite (Firm Foundation), which I’ve referenced before on here, just came to mind:

Christ is my firm foundation
The Rock on which I stand
When everything around me is shaken
I've never been more glad
That I put my faith in Jesus
'Cause He's never let me down
He's faithful through generations
So why would He fail now?

He won't

I've still got joy in chaos
I've got peace that makes no sense
So I won't be going under
I'm not held by my own strength
'Cause I've built my life on Jesus
He's never let me down
He's faithful in every season
So why would He fail now?

He won't

Rain came and wind blew
But my house was built on You
I'm safe with You
I'm gonna make it through

It is times like these where I am so grateful for the growth in my relationship with Christ. He is my rock. I didn’t have this type of relationship several years ago and I’m so grateful He got a hold of me. Gently. Patiently.

He has walked alongside me through many things and shown me He can be trusted.

That doesn’t mean I get the outcomes I want, but He can be trusted.

It’s not lost on me that lat year’s word was healing and that the end of 2025 brought the need for healing for the two most important women in my life.

That’s a whole other topic that I am wrestling with in my head and it would probably help to write it out to sort through my thoughts, but for now, I am focusing on gratitude and being present for what is in front of me.

This year, my goal is to write more often and more vulnerably.

Many times I feel prompted to write but it feels too raw or exposing and then I regret later that I didn’t capture the feelings in that moment because I was concerned with what others thought versus how it could help another in a similar situation. Or maybe how it could help me. I don’t know.

So my goal is to write when prompted and leave it up to God to do with it what He will.

I won’t be the roadblock, but the channel.

I pray that it blesses you and turns your heart from fear to gratitude, just as it does mine.

My prayer is that I do not come across as a Pollyanna but as a person deeply believing in God’s promises and standing on His word.

A word for which I am deeply grateful for and becoming more grateful for as each day passes.

Rita roller skating with the grands this weekend.