Roller Coaster
It’s been a minute, but I’ve been sitting with this for awhile and just can’t shake it.
I’ve wanted to write, but yet, couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I’ve wrestled and told myself to do it, but then just sat with it.
This story might not make any sense to some or may seem like total hullabaloo, but it’s pressing on me and time feels of the essence.
So here you go…
Towards the end of last year, the pastor to our church’s cogroup leaders held a training and it turned out to be a practicum in the prophetic.
My stomach dropped.
This meant doing training in front of other people…my least favorite thing to do.
The blood ran out of my face at the mention of this group exercise.
But…I decided I’d put my big girl pants on and participate whole heartedly.
Why not, right? I’m a grown up. I can do this. I can handle embarrassment. I have a healthy sense of humor about myself and don’t need to take myself so seriously. I can do this.
Plus, as he said, it’s all about learning to hear God’s voice, so why wouldn’t I take the advice of someone I’ve seen hear from God time and time again and whom I admire deeply? Why wouldn’t I try to grow in this area?
Let’s go.
We broke into small groups and were instructed to pray and ask God for a word or vision and write it down. The assumption being it was to be a word for someone at the table.
I folded up my piece of paper a little shaken by what had come to mind.
Time’s up.
I steadied myself as I got ready to share with the group, feeling like a 6th grader again having to read a personal paper in front of the class before running out of the room crying.
But then came the twist…the word wasn’t for another person at the table.
The word was for us individually…what God wanted us personally to know.
Mind blown.
I sat there a little slackjawed at how God could speak to me with such a simple image right there at a table full of strangers. It strengthened me for what I was walking through with my mom at that moment.
After letting out a sigh of relief for the encouraging word and for surviving the practicum, we were then asked to stand and partner up.
Seriously? Ugh. (I’m so not a good sport sometimes)
I don’t know why I hate these activities so much, but enter the dread and the feeling like all the blood was going to rush out of my body…again.
Some people, like my dear husband, find these exercises invigorating and live for these experiences.
Not me.
But alas, I put on my big girl pants (again) and convinced myself this would all be over soon enough.
“We’re here to learn, right? So why not embrace it? You don’t have to do it perfectly, this is about practice and giving it a shot. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Or at least that’s the pep talk I gave myself.
So here I was standing across from a very well respected gentleman in our church and our pastor instructs us to close our eyes and at his prompting share the first word or image God gives us.
I am a very literal person and follow instructions to the letter.
So I closed my eyes, prayed, and waited to say aloud the image that immediately came to mind…
Roller Coaster
Now, when telling Justin this story on the ride home, he asked the obvious question…”And then what did you say?”
“Well, nothing. The instructions were to just say the first word or image that came mind and that’s what I did. I didn’t know I was suppose to follow it up. I was waiting for the next part of the instructions.”
But back to the kind gentleman who has way more experience than I do in this…
As I am standing there all of a sudden feeling very vulnerable (ie. stupid), probably flush with embarrassment, he says, “Well, huh. Umm…okay…I mean, I like roller coasters.”
Okay, before I fell over from embarrassment, I closed my eyes and asked God what in the world the roller coaster is about? I don’t even like roller coasters! I actively avoid them. Why would you give me that image? What in the world???
And then these words came out…“I just see a roller coaster clear as day. Maybe it’s that this coming season is going to be a wild one, with lots of ups and downs, highs and lows. You’re strapped in, secure, so you’re going to be okay, but you wonder sometimes if or how you’re going to make it. You’re with your family, laughing with your kids. It’s one heck of a ride though and you’re holding on tight wondering if it’s ever going to end, but rest assured, it will. And when it does, you’ll be getting off the ride with your family, hugging, laughing and smiling.”
To both of us, honestly, it really meant nothing. And even though I felt a little silly and thought, “Well, guess I heard that wrong!” and I was okay with it.
Some part of my mature brain kicked in and I reminded myself that this is part of practicing.
Sometimes you get it wrong or maybe I just made the whole thing up. C’est la vie.
Or sometimes, if you wait a little bit, you might get a God wink and find you were more in tune than you thought.
Maybe, like that first exercise, the word wasn’t for the other person…
Fast forward to March 2026.
We were supposed to have gone to Florida in January for a 3 week road trip as part of our homeschooling.
Unfortunately, a cancer diagnosis on January 2nd had other plans for us.
2025 ended roughly with my mom’s diagnosis and 2026 started off even worse with Rita’s diagnosis, among a couple of other things.
I’m not complaining that we didn’t get to go to Florida like we had planned. There was no way we were leaving town with Rita in the shape she was in, nor could we bear not to be with her during the touch and go times. All plans were on the back burner until we knew more.
Rita was priority number one.
But gratefully, chemo finally started and she began to feel better and most of her symptoms subsided.
Since she was back home with friends checking on her constantly, we felt like we could take an impromptu trip.
We all needed a breather and there’s nothing like a road trip to make this crew happy.
It was a shorter trip than originally planned and we made it up on the fly. No reservations. No places to stay. No plans whatsoever except to see my parents and then a beach or two.
It turned out better than we ever could have hoped for…Key West, Kennedy Space Center, The Everglades, Cocoa Beach, and the grand finale…Disney World!
A high point after a very low valley.
And at Disney, which was a very last minute decision, the girl who had never ridden a roller coaster in her 48 years, despite growing up going to Busch Gardens and Disney regularly, went on her very first roller coaster.
I had planned on continuing my role as a bag holder, but when your six year old begs you to ride with her, it’s time to put those big girl pants on again (dang those big girl pants!).
So I did.
And as I rode the ride, the prophetic word I’d brushed off four months prior came flooding back to me.
The word wasn’t for that gentleman, it was for you.
There I was on a roller coaster, strapped in, secure but scared, with my family, holding on tightly, hoping it would end soon, and laughing with Edley the entire time.
God knew.
God knew this year would be a hard year for our family.
He knew we’d ask the whys and what ifs and what nexts.
He knew we’d be together and in the midst of the sorrow, there would be joy.
He knew I’d need an obvious reminder that He sees our tears and hears our prayers and that even in the darkest of times, He is there.
God’s got this, whether it’s a roller coaster at Disney or the roller coaster called life.
And I’m reminded that God is still speaking. Even if it doesn’t make sense at the time…it will.
I have learned and am continuously reminded that He is always speaking and can be trusted.
Even in the lowest moments of grief, anger, and sorrow that 2026 has held, there have been peaks of celebration, joy, and hopefulness, and all along the way, God has held us secure.
When we get off whatever this “ride” is that we are on, I know we will have gone through this together as a family, and when we’re hugging at the end, God will be wrapping His arms around us, Reminding us of his love.
And that image is one I can firmly stand on.
